Written Then. For Someone Today.

It has been on my heart to write again, followed with many nudges from God and other people that I need to keep doing so and sharing with others. As I went for a walk this morning, I asked God what it was that he wanted me to write about today. And, he did something unique. He reminded me that he asked me to start reading through my personal journals a couple of weeks ago. And, he highlighted one that I read a few nights ago. Then he said, “Share that today. Someone needs to hear it.”

Now this answer felt too simple for me. Yet, I’m learning that “simple” is usually God speaking or instructing me. And, this instruction made me a little uncomfortable because it meant sharing something intimate and something written 11 years ago. I was in a very different place in my life at that time. Then, God reminded me that someone else could be in that exact same place today. And, although my heart at that time was to write to him and him alone, I am trusting what he told me today and sharing it. For someone.

5/6/2015:

Holy moly can life be a rollercoaster or what?! A week ago I felt productive, grounded, and in great spirits. Then, after a busy, fun-filled weekend things are seeming to spiral out of control, again. What changed?!

I still love God. I still think about God. I still know God brings me peace.

I’ll tell you what happened. This darn world and all the craziness that comes along with it, pulled me away. It pulled me away from keeping God as my main focus. It kept me from seeking our Lord and Savior for guidance and assurance in all that I do. And what resulted when my focus was impaired? Increased anxiety, increased feelings of failure, and decreased contentment.

I was fixing my gaze on the checklists in my life. I was focusing on all the things that “need to be done.” Or do they?

Words from my daily devotion jumped out at me today and they were: “If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace.”

Let me tell you- that phrase rings very true to me! I always think that if I can get all of these tasks accomplished I will find self-satisfaction and I will be able to relax. But, as the devotion also stated, “once one thing is done and one goal is reached, then something else appears on that list.” And, this can be so frustrating…tiring….anxiety provoking.

Now here is the good news! THERE IS A MUCH BETTER WAY TO FIND SECURITY IN LIFE.

We can find security and we can find peace by focusing our attention on God, on Jesus, on our Lord and Savior. If we continually seek God and continually keep in contact with him, we will be kept in his peace. AND he will help us sort out what is important and what is not; what needs to be done now and what does not.

Wow! How Incredible! It is like we each have our own personal secretary to help keep our life organized, to prioritize tasks that need to be done, and to guide us on how we should be spending our time to live life to its fullest! The thought of this instantly relieves weight from my shoulders and already allows me to find peace. SO, I will continue on day after day striving to keep my main focus on God. And, I openly beg for the Holy Spirit to flood my heart and to be my guide.

In conjunction with focusing on my checklists in life, I realize that I was also focusing on “someone else’s race." I read an article on Facebook tonight (from KTIS) titled “The stay-at-home mom vs the working mom dilemma.” It caught my attention as I am constantly wondering if I am doing what is best for my kids. Should I be home with them more? What am I going to do if we have more kids? Or how about when they are in school and I want to be there for all of their extracurricular activities? Was I meant to be a nurse? Or is there something else I should be doing?

As I read this article, I was instantly able to relate to many things said, but what really caught my attention was the following statement. “Comparison kills contentment.”

I very quickly came to realize that I was comparing myself, my family, my house… to someone else. And, I commonly compare myself to this person (and others I run into and spend time with). I have done this since I was younger. And, looking back I’ve always stressed myself out and felt discontent when I do this. Many times, it appears that others have it all together and their life is perfect. This particular person, who I was focusing my attention on, always appears to be happy, is an over-achiever, seems to get so many things done and life always appears to be going go smoothly for her. As a result of these assumptions I make about her, I find myself trying to keep up, mimic things she does, and comparing myself to her. What I am coming to realize, is that what works for her and her family may not work for me or my family. What God has in store for me and my family is unique when compared with this person and ALL other people. While it is okay to confide in others, seek advice from others, get ideas from other people, and try new things, we should confide in God first and foremost. If we can keep our focus on him, run our own race, and be content with God’s plan for each and every one of us, we will find that life is much more simple and easier to enjoy. AND, no one if perfect. Even if they appear to have it all together.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:18